Trouble was brewing on the project front with the last release having a host of critical issues. As the team sought to fight the fire, there was very little time to say proper good byes. Besides, I had already talked to the people that mattered. Anyways, as per tradition, the team gathered around, wished me luck, appreciated my work and gave me a parting gift.
It seemed a little weird to leave. IBM was my first job and I was sorry to be leaving. But other horizons now beckon.
Sometimes I marvel at the human tendency to always glorify the grass on the other side of the fence. When I was working, I longed to be "free". Now that I was free, I longed to get involved in one final problem on the project. For almost a month, I had been like a dead man walking, cut out from all decisions and consigned to weird looks and glances. I hoped to be a Deus ex Machina, emerging one final time to save the project from embarrassment. Alas, it was not to be.
Ultimately, it seems, we are all lemmings, happy only until someone tells us what to do and absolves us of all responsibility and accountability. As long as someone dictates to us, we have a target to rile against and criticize. Left to our own devices, we seldom put our time and effort to good use.
As a management student, I hope that I am able to change that. I would not want to look back and say "My technical job was better", just because it was simpler. That would be a huge let-down. Perhaps I'll be motivated enough to assume more responsibility in whatever I do and wherever I end up. The one thing that I have learnt is that no work is completely bad or completely good. It's all a question of perspective and expectations.
Well, of all my posts, this one seems to ramble the most, perhaps because I have time to kill and no set plan. That reminds me of a great Chinese proverb to conclude this post - "A good traveler is not intent upon arriving"...
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